What Happens During Your Ashes Tattoo Appointment
Most people asking this are really asking one quiet thing: will I have to watch something upsetting happen to my mum, my dad, my dog? So here’s the plain version. You arrive, you sit down and talk through the design, then the prepared ashes are blended into a bespoke, particle-matched tattoo ink right there on the desk in front of you and Paul tattoos it into your skin the same as any other tattoo. Nothing is taken away, nothing happens behind a closed door and the whole thing is calmer and more ordinary than the picture in your head. A small ashes tattoo can be done in under an hour. A bigger piece takes longer, but the ashes part itself is quick.
What’s The First Thing That Happens When You Arrive?
You come in, you sit down and you have a cup of tea if you want one, just ask, (the wife says i make a bad cup of tea, but i’ll let you be the judge). There’s no rush to get you into the chair. The first proper part of the appointment is talking, not tattooing.
Paul goes back over the design with you even if you settled most of it beforehand. Placement gets checked against your actual skin, because a butterfly that looked right on paper sometimes wants to sit a little differently on a forearm or a shoulder. Size, exact spot, the angle of a name. This is the point where you can still change your mind about small things. If you’ve come with a signature from a card or a paw print, that’s laid out and looked at properly now.
A lot of what you’d expect to happen here has already happened in the days before, which is why the day itself feels unhurried. If you want the full picture of that side of it, what happens before your appointment covers the consultation and the design work that comes first.
When And How Do The Ashes Go Into The Ink?
This is the part everyone is nervous about, so it gets done carefully and out in the open. When the design is agreed and you’re ready, the ashes are blended into the ink on the desk, in your eyeline, before any needle touches you.
The ashes you bring have already been matched to the right particle size, cleaned, sterilised to clinical standards and cleared of contaminants. What happens on the day is the final blend into a bespoke, particle-matched, high-quality tattoo ink, not raw ash tipped into a pot. That distinction matters and it’s the whole reason a memorial piece can’t be a rushed job at a walk-in shop. If you want to understand why raw ashes can’t just be stirred into a bottle, read this – why studios cannot mix raw ashes.
Only a small amount goes in, roughly a teaspoon’s worth. You watch the whole thing if you want to, or you can look at the wall for that minute and Paul will tell you when it’s done. Some people want to see every second. Some can’t and that’s completely fine.
What Happens To The Ashes You Don’t Use?
People are frightened they’ll hand over their loved one and not get them back. You get them back.
Only that small teaspoon’s worth is used for the tattoo. The rest is yours and goes home with you the same day. Nothing is kept, nothing is disposed of, nothing leaves the room. And nothing is ever taken off to a back area to be dealt with in private. The ashes stay in view from the moment they come out to the moment the leftover goes back in the container in your bag. That’s a fixed rule here, not a favour, because handing your dad’s ashes to a stranger and losing sight of them is exactly the fear that stops people booking. So it simply doesn’t happen that way.
If handling the ashes yourself feels like too much, you don’t touch them at all. Paul does that part gently while you watch or look away, whichever you need.
What’s The Best Way To Bring The Ashes On The Day?
A small sealed screw-top container is the easiest thing to bring, the sort you’d keep a spare button in. It doesn’t spill, it’s easy to open on the desk and it’s simple to carry home again with the leftover inside.
You’ve got two ways to do it. Bring the whole container along and let Paul take out what’s needed himself, which suits anyone who’d rather not measure or handle the ashes. Or, if you’d prefer to sort it at home where it’s quiet, spoon out a small amount beforehand, about a teaspoon, using a clean spoon from your own kitchen and just bring that portion. Both are fine. Either way the rest stays with you.
Don’t feel you have to bring a large amount to be safe. A teaspoon is genuinely all that’s needed and it’s better to bring a little and know the rest is at home than to carry the whole urn across the country.
How Long Does The Tattooing Take?
Once the ink is blended, the tattoo goes on exactly like any other tattoo. Same needle, same sensation, same healing afterwards. Once it’s in your skin it behaves like ordinary ink, because that’s what it now is.
Time depends entirely on the design. A small name, a single paw print or a short line of handwriting can be finished in half an hour to an hour. A detailed portrait or a larger colour piece is a longer sitting, sometimes a couple of hours or more. Paul has been tattooing for around 30 years, with about the last 20 of those spent almost entirely on ashes work, so the pace is steady and he’ll tell you honestly at the start roughly how long you’ll be in the chair. You can take a break whenever you need one. Nobody’s watching the clock.
The day itself is a private one-to-one. It’s not a busy shop floor with other clients in earshot, which matters when you might get emotional partway through and plenty of people do.
What Do You Leave The Appointment With?
You walk out with three things: the finished tattoo wrapped and ready to heal, the rest of your loved one’s ashes back in their container and aftercare instructions for the days ahead.
Paul talks you through the healing before you go, so you’re not googling it in a panic that night. The tattoo settles the same as a standard one over the next week or two. There’s nothing different about caring for it because the ink sits in your skin normally. If safety is on your mind at all, are ashes tattoos safe covers the preparation and hygiene side in full.
Most people describe the feeling on the way out as lighter than they expected. The dread beforehand is usually bigger than the day.
FAQ
Do You See The Ashes Being Put Into The Ink?
Yes, if you want to. The ashes are blended into the ink on the desk in front of you before any tattooing starts and you can watch the whole thing. If it’s too much, you’re welcome to look away and Paul will let you know once it’s done. Nothing is done out of sight.
How Long Does The Ashes Tattoo Appointment Take?
It depends on the design. A small piece like a name or a paw print often takes half an hour to an hour. A detailed portrait or a larger colour tattoo can run to a couple of hours or more. The blending of the ashes into the ink itself only takes a minute or two. You can break whenever you need to.
Can I Bring Someone With Me To The Appointment?
Yes. Plenty of people bring a partner, a friend or a family member for support and it’s a private one-to-one studio rather than a busy shop floor, so there’s space to have someone with you. If you’d rather come alone, that’s just as fine.
What If I Get Upset During The Appointment?
That’s normal and expected. It’s a private setting, so there’s no audience and no pressure. You can stop, have a break, have a cry or a cup of tea and carry on when you’re ready. Nobody rushes you through it.
Do I Need To Bring All The Ashes On The Day?
No. Only about a teaspoon’s worth is used. You can bring the whole container and let Paul take out what’s needed, or measure out a small amount at home and bring just that in a small sealed pot. Either way, the rest goes home with you the same day.
Written by Paul Cutler, founder of Bubblegum Ink ®. Read more about Paul.